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Book Depression
Do you have a pile of half-read books on your nightstand or queued on your e-reader? Bookmarks and dog ears taunting you like forlorn eyes, begging you to slide them from their impressment! Perhaps I think about my bookmarks too much…
Over the past seven months, I have started reading twelve books, and only finished two. One of which I sped through so quickly that I missed half the plot because I found it tedious, the other was the awesome final book in the Mara Dyer trilogy. For those who can’t do math in their heads, that is only a 16% success rate. Alright, I used a calculator; I can’t do fractions in my head either!
I used to read three to five books a week, and the idea of not finishing one was unthinkable. I’m still interested in books, as evidenced by my adding a couple onto my to-read every week, starting a new book a couple times a month, and pre-ordering books I know I want but barely notice when they arrive. And I cant seem to finish them!
So I thought I’d look up some ideas on how to combat this book finishing slump I’m in, in case anyone else has the same problem:
1. Set aside time each day specifically for reading.
This is easier said than done. But if you cut out one mindless reality show before bed, you could carve out a hour for reading! Or maybe your lunch break could be your me-time. Are you parent? Tell you partner you need one hour of sanity without the kids before dinner to relax with a book. Or, read with them. If your significant other isn’t a reader, maybe you can read while they play video games, or on a boat while they fish. If you make it a priority, it becomes habit.
2. Re-read a favorite!
Harry Potter is usually my go-to re-read book, but I also love re-reading Anne of Green Gables and A Wrinkle in Time, books that made me love books in Elementary school. If Harry Potter, Princess Bride, or Pride & Prejudice aren’t your style, go back to the book that gave you a love of reading. Fahrenheit 451 or To Kill a Mockingbird perhaps. If it’s Twilight or Fifty Shades, that’s cool too. There’s a reason popular books get popular!
3. Actual Depression 😦
If you no longer feel the desire and/or motivation to do the things you love, might actually be depressed. I read somewhere that 1 in 3 Americans suffers from depression at least once in their lives. For some it is temporary melancholy or grief brought on by a sad or life-altering event, for others it might be clinical and long-term. Either way, if you think you might be depressed, see a professional and get help.
4. Read with others.
If you are accountable to a friend, you are more likely to finish. Book clubs, libraries, bookworm friends, or online groups are all great resources. Or maybe you are the den-mother in your group of friends, you can start the club to get the ball rolling! Libraries are amazing, because if you don’t like a book you return it, and if you do, you have to finish before the due date.
5. Read crap.
Now hear me out! Sometimes a quick romance or silly YA novel is just what you need to break your slump. Authors put out a ton of books each year for Young Adult, New Adult, and Romance readers alike, all quick reads. The cheaper the better! I suggest reading the first few pages to see if you can stand the writing first, but you could also search the .00 cents section of you e-reader store, or the bargain bin at a book store for the silliest covers.
If all else fails, wait it out! If you’re like me, and you tuly love reading, if it is a part of your personality, it will come back.
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Writer’s Block
There are several types of Writer’s Block. I’ve gone through all of them in the past year! Some last for a few hours that feel agonizing, while others last months or even years *shivers*. I’m going to discuss the ones I know about and how I got past them, or didn’t!
Number 1: No ideas
This can strike before or after you have started writing. For me it lasted nearly ten years. For ten years I waited for an idea to come so I could start writing again! Since then, this type of block has only occurred with small scenes, and is usually alleviated after a shower or drive to clear my mind and let inspiration strike! I’ve since learned that the best solution is just to keep writing something. A journal, a blog, other scenes, editing, ANYTHING! If you love writing, keep going and it will come when it comes. Can’t force it.
I had this problem last spring. There was a whole new idea every other day. Some were basic plot points for the book I was writing; ways to change a scene, or a better way of explaining by showing instead of telling. But mostly, they were new plots. They came in dreams, at work, in the grocery store! So what did I do? I wrote faster on my WIP to get to the others! It suffered for my haste. The other ideas could wait, because I voice recorded them and typed them up. I had to stop thinking about what I would write next and focus on what I was already writing. I also didn’t ignore plot points for the other works. I got them down and went back to the WIP at hand. I found it was possible to have too many projects going at once, I just couldn’t stress over all of them at the same time. Setting goals became my greatest ally.
Number 3: No Time
I’ve posted about being a mom and teacher, and how that cuts into writing time before, but I’ve found that making time isn’t good enough. I gave myself 4 hours twice a week, but after I finished my last book, I suddenly stopped finding the time to work on it. My husband is now working 12 hour days, and I hated taking time from him to write. But that’s not really the problem. I stopped making writing my priority with my “free” time. I’m still struggling with the balance between work and home. I need to start giving myself permission to take a few hours a week, even though I used to do a couple of hours a day. I have to start somewhere!
Number 4: Burn Out
This is my biggest problem currently. From February 15 to April 15 I wrote and edited 58K words of my first book and learned how to query, then from April 15 to June 10 I wrote 68K words on my second book and 6 other plots. That’s approximately 130K words written and edited in five months. Not as quick as a prolific writer like Jennifer Armentrout who puts out 5-10 books a year, but impressive for me, a working mother. I hit a wall. I even stopped reading. This may be due to a sort of postpartum depression in finishing writing, or possibly a need to get back to focusing on my day job, but I realized this past week that I was burnt out. My only remedy has been giving it time.
Number 5: Fear
Fear of what you ask? Failure, success, praise, my writing sucking and embarrassing my whole family, my writing getting popular enough for critics to bash me. Maybe I over think everything, but fear caught me a couple of times, and I’m currently in its grasp. It may seem odd to fear both success and failure at the same time, but I’m a realist. Lucky me! Between family constantly asking when they can buy my book (because they have no clue how long it takes to get published, if ever), and rejection letters from months ago coming in at random, I’ve become fearful. Fearful of what is to come and having little to no control over it. I don’t know how to get past this except to keep doing what I love, writing. I don’t know when I will get the courage, time, and energy to do so again, but I know I will.
How do you deal with writer’s block? Give up? Stop writing for a while? Force yourself to write something? Eat a lot of chocolate? Please share what you have experienced or any resources in the comments!
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I am Not a Survivor
It’s my 28th birthday. And I’m contemplating writing a memoir. To do this, I need to face some hard truths about my childhood. Thinking about how open and honest Jeanette Walls was in Glass Castles, I wrote down the hardest part. It turned into a sort of poem. This is not easy to write, or read, but I’m sharing it in hopes that others identify with my truth.
TW: Trigger Warning for mentions of molestation, rape, and abuse.
When people learn about my childhood abuse, they usually have one of two reactions: Shock or pity.
I understand the shock from people who were never abused, or are still naive. The can’t fathom how the man that everyone liked, who raised me as a second father from age four on, could have hurt me sexually. They really can’t understand how it went on for over four years while I was in 6-10th grade (11-15). Or how it happened to boys as well (“But he’s straight?!”).
There’s also the shock that I’m not a hooker, nor was I a pregnant teen, or ever on drugs. I get this reaction. It’s what they hear on the news, and drama TV shows, as what happens to girls like me. I nod and say, “Yep, I turned out alright,” before moving on to a more comfortable topic for them. Perhaps my multiple degrees, or happy family life.
I get the pity too, though I can’t stand it. Sure, feel sorry for me, whatever, shit happens. It is a sorry world that this bullshit occurs every day to too many children. But don’t tell me, “You’re a survivor!” Like it’s some big accomplishment for making it through my day.
I am not a survivor. A woman who was raped, assaulted, beaten, and/or molested against her will is a survivor. She survived that incident. Or multiple incidents. She fought her demons and came out ahead, living her life despite her attacker’s attempts to diminish her. She should be celebrated!
But I am not a survivor. I lived my life. I was groomed. My first introduction to my sexuality was from my molester. My step-father. This happened daily to weekly, sometimes with months in between. For years.
But I’m not a survivor. To say I’m a survivor is to put the power in my molester’s hands. I did not survive him, I lived my life. I was a strong, independent person before him, and I am a strong independent person after. I don’t need pity or celebration for my personality, I need friends who know sh*t happens, and don’t care.
I am not a survivor, but I’m also not unchanged. He is in prison for a minimum of 20 years, max 30. At 62 and in bad health, that is a life sentence. But I still have intrusive thoughts. I still can’t imagine being intimate with a bald or overly hairy man, let alone anyone who is old enough to be my father. The smell of cigarettes or old spice gives me hives. But I’m so thankful to have a loving and supportive husband who gets these things and helped make me whole.
I am not a survivor. I am a strong, independent woman, who doesn’t take any crap. Because I know how shitty life can be if you let it. Don’t pity me, don’t celebrate me, see me.
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What the heck is YA Speculative Fiction?
I get this question from nearly everyone who asks about my writing. People read books in the genre they are accustomed to, based off the recommendations of friends or their e-book store, or simply because they liked the cover art. The exception is other writers, publisher’s, agents, librarians, and book bloggers. We have to be in the know, because we are writing, selling, and stocking these stories based on what’s inside. What I did not know before delving into the writing world, is that the books I read have an entirely different labeling system to agents and publishers than they do in the bookstore. You see Fiction, Non-Fiction, Science Fiction, Mystery, Comedy, and Drama, but there are dozens more!
Many people have a favorite genre, but I’m a true bookworm. I read classics in Jr. High (L’Engle, Austen, Montgomery, Bradbury, Twain), SciFi in high school because a boyfriend suggested Ender’s Game, and then satire or fantasy in college to escape my History and Education texts. Harry Potter was my own little world from age 12-20 when the series ended. I’d read all these favorites a dozen times each, and rarely picked up new authors without a recommendation from someone else. Then, the summer I got engaged, I was struck by the simple and beautiful covers of the Twilight series. I devoured the first two overnight, and even tried adult vampire stories, but didn’t like them. Suddenly, I was a fan of Young Adult novels. A huge fan. So much so that when I started to write, all my ideas fit in this genre. That is when I learned the many distinctions and nuances in fiction.
So, how do you explain a whole book to people outside the novelist bubble when you are used to doing it with acronyms? Most people don’t even know the word for novel in the publishing world is “trade.” I’ll admit, before I started wring a speculative fiction novel, I only knew them as Dystopian. This is such a new word in our ethos that spell check tells me to change it to Utopian. Simply put, Speculative Fiction, or SpecFic, can technically be Utopian and Science Fiction, but it is most often represented on Earth, in the not to distant future, usually characterized by a re-formed but overbearing government (Think The Hunger Games, Matched, The Giver, or Divergent). For some reason, these highly popular stories have skyrocketed in the media. Maybe that could be The Hunger Games having such good movie adaptation the reached a broader audience who then clamored for more. Whatever the reason, YA SpecFic appeals to many people today.
First thing, Young Adult is not a genre. But it kind of is. But it’s really not. It is fiction (literary or non-literary) that is written, published, and marketed to adolescents. It used to be called Juvenile fiction, which is why I didn’t read it in high school. According to Publisher’s Weekly and many other polls I have seen and agreed with in the past few years, more than half of YA readers are over 18. Often, books are put in YA based on the characters’ ages, even though many of those books would really be Middle Grade or the emerging genre of New Adult. Does the book have sex described and not just implied? New Adult. Does the book have characters that haven’t realized girls are pretty yet? Middle Grade. Somewhere in between? Young Adult.
And this cuts to the core of what YA is: any story where what keeps you reading is the character growth. Technically, YA is defined as the plot being emphasized instead of theme and style, but I believe the themes are just different than novels written for and about adults. The point of your later teen years is how you learn and become a full person, encountering problems and experiences for the first time. It doesn’t matter if it is the classics works of Oliver Twist or Huckleberry Finn, fantastical drama series like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, or critically acclaimed modern pop favorites The Fault in Our Stars or The Outsiders, they are all good books. So what is YA? Books for people who like to read about the in between times in life. Occasionally set in a fairy land or Post-Apocalyptic America…Do you love YA? Hate it? Don’t get it?





































