Writers are a rare breed who can simultaneously think we have the most amazing ideas that simply must be shared with the world, while also feeling crippling self doubt. How can such a huge group of people think they are both awesome and ordinary?

For writers with serious self-esteem issues, you will hear that it was the characters who led the story, not them. A family member told me I must have based the main character in my story on myself, since she was so smart and loved to read. While that was a nice compliment, I got very annoyed! My characters are fully formed people in my head, with hopes and dreams as well as flaws and problems. Sometimes, they surprise me…

I wrote my first full manuscript in two months, including a second draft that had all spelling, grammar, and syntax edits done. How? I sent in 2-5 chapters a week for my editor. I’m my biggest critic. I reread far too often and can never take a compliment. Half the time I think it’s good, the other half it’s crap that should be deleted and never read. Without my editor giving me both positive feedback and helpful critiques for my first manuscript, I never would have had the confidence to write a second!

So why does it matter? If you have too much self confidence, you can’t take critiques and your story will suffer. If you have too much self doubt, you will keep deleting and editing until you lose your way in the plot and the story has been stripped of all value. Sometimes, it is best to just write, ignoring spelling and word choice. You can go back!

So when someone asks you when that little story you’re writing will become a movie, just smile. They don’t know that inside you wages a battle: That would be so cool to see my characters come to life! Not like I’ll ever sell my book. I would want full control of script and casting! No, it’s not a good enough story to make a movie. I’d make a lot of money and could write all the time! I can’t even get an agent, no way my book will be popular. My story is far to full of plot and characters for anyone to make a movie of. Why does it need to be anything but a book? Will people think it sucks and I’m a failure if it doesn’t at least become a TV pilot? Screw you and your stupid question! 

So maybe you’re not on a never-ending see-saw of emotions and you can separate yourself from the writing process and your characters. But you are probably in the minority. At least I hope I think so. Please tell me I’m not the only one?